Resources

+ Is my relationship abusive?

Abuse can take on many forms, and it may be difficult to recognize the signs when you are in the midst of it. It often takes the form of behavior that is meant to frighten, control, or isolate. Abuse can be physical, sexual, verbal, emotional, psychological, spiritual, and economic. Abuse can look like:

• Physical violence
• Sexual violence or intimidation
• Humiliation, negating, criticizing: They make you feel small and unimportant
• Control and shame: They threaten you, spy on or control your usage of your phone or the internet, or control your finances
• Accusations, blaming, and denial: They are incredible jealous, trivialize your problems, or damage or destroy your possessions
• Emotional neglect and isolation: Their needs are above yours, or they isolate you from your family, friends, or culture
• Codependency: They rely on you to regulate their emotions, and make you feel like you have no other options.

If you experience any of the above, you may be in an abusive relationship. Help is available—you are not alone.

+ What is domestic violence?

Domestic violence—also known as domestic abuse or intimate partner violence—is a pattern of violence or aggressive behavior within the home toward a spouse or partner. Domestic violence is used to establish power and control over another, and can be physical, sexual, verbal, emotional, or economic.

+ What is stalking and a stalker’s behaviors?

Stalking is a series of actions taken by someone that you might know well or don’t know at all that makes you feel afraid or in danger. Stalking is often violent and can escalate over time.

Common behaviors of stalkers include:

• Repeatedly call you, including hang-ups
• Following you and showing up wherever you are
• Sending unwanted gifts, letters, texts, or e-mails
• Damaging your home, car, or other property
• Monitoring your phone calls or computer use
• Using technology, like hidden cameras or GPS, to track where you go
• Driving by or hanging out at your home, school, or work
• Threatening to hurt you, your family, friends, or pets
• Finding out about you by using public records or on-line search services, hiring investigators, going through your garbage, or contacting friends, family, neighbors, or co-workers
• Other actions that control, track, or frighten you

Learn more about stalking.

+ What is sexual assault?

Sexual Assault is any unwanted, coerced, or forced sexual contact. Sexual assault can happen by use of force, threat of force, coercion, manipulation, instilling of fear or fraud (e.g. posing as a medical doctor or spiritual healer). A sexual offense does not require a physical fight or resistance.

A person that has been sexually assaulted always has the right to make their own decisions. It is your choice to report to the police or seek a medical forensic exam.

+ What to do if you’ve been sexually assaulted?

• Go to a safe place. Your safety is the number one priority.
• If you don't feel safe alone, call someone that you trust to come and be with you.
• Seek medical attention. Often we think that we are okay without medical care, but a trained nurse can help make sure you are well cared for and can answer any questions you might have. There could be internal injuries, a possibility of pregnancy, or venereal disease. You do not have to report to law enforcement if you seek medical attention.
• Tell someone you trust. Having someone you can talk to or that can offer you support and comfort will be helpful for you.

+ What is sex trafficking?

Sex trafficking is the action or practice of the use of force, fraud, coercion, or the illegal transportation of people for the purpose of sexual exploitation.

Learn more about sex and human trafficking in Native communities.

+ What is consent?

Consent is an active agreement between participants with equal power to engage in an activity, including sexual relations. Giving in because of fear is not consent. In consent, both parties must be equally free to act.

When you’re engaging in sexual activity, consent is about communication. And it should happen every time. Giving consent for one activity, one time, does not mean giving consent for increased or recurring sexual contact. For example, agreeing to kiss someone doesn’t give that person permission to remove your clothes. Having sex with someone in the past doesn’t give that person permission to have sex with you again in the future.

You can withdraw consent at any point if you feel uncomfortable. It’s important to clearly communicate to your partner that you are no longer comfortable with this activity and wish to stop. The best way to ensure both parties are comfortable with any sexual activity is to talk about it.

+ What is personal sovereignty?

Personal sovereignty, or self-governance, is the right to make decisions about your body and life.

• You have the right to your own unique path in life without fear, but with freedom.
• You have the right to make your own decisions without other’s approval or agreement.
• You have the right to access what you need in order to walk your path in the ways you want.
• You have the right to accurate information and respectful, non-judgmental support.
• You have the right to speak freely for yourself in your own way, to define your own reality, experiences and self-identity.